This is a story of one woman with two choices. Same circumstances different outcomes.
The rain outside is not the kind of rain that gently taps the window. This rain chest slams the pane from all sides like a taiko drummer pounding out an angry, ancient rhythm.
She’s warm, cozy even, and her focus rests not on the rain, but on something else. Something tugs at her, and just as quickly, pulls her in. She rests her forehead against the cool glass for a moment, then her breath makes the wet glass snowy. Willing herself to move, she finds a corner chair. Why did it have to happen at Christmas time? What did I do wrong? Why does this always happen to me? What was so wrong? I thought everything was going well. I have no one. I am alone on Christmas and I have no one. I have no one. I have no one. She curls up and quietly sobs. Pain does that. It makes you feel small, and this pain, courses through her body as powerfully as the blood that pulses through her veins.
She wants him back. She needs him back. She doesn’t want to be alone, especially on Christmas. Only losers are alone on Christmas.
She calls him. No answer. The tears fall harder. No answer, again. This time she leaves a message: She didn’t mean it… it was all her fault… come back, please come back. Her sorrow encases her in amber; frozen, her soul writhes in pain. How can God exist if there is so much pain? How can good exist if there are so many callous, selfish, cruel people pecking at her — shredding every fiber of her being?
Dear reader, what can you imagine her next step will be? More crying? More dialing? Or something worse? Stacking hurtful emotional experiences, like that, leads to some kind of action — her energy has to go somewhere.
It’s warm inside, cozy even, and her focus rests not on the rain, but on something else. She leans her back against the pain (sic) and wills herself to move. She walks through the room and spies a comfy chair in the corner. Why did it have to happen at Christmas time? What did I do wrong? Why does this always happen to me? What was so wrong? I thought everything was going well. I have no one. I am alone on Christmas and I have no one. I have no one. I have no one.
She slumps her shoulders and shuffles her feet over to the chair, with the full intention of having a good, long cry. Stopping mid-shuffle, she is distracted from her thoughts. There are so many white lights on the Christmas tree just like stars. It hits her – she used to play this game with a friend. Each white light was a happy time, a fun experience, an accomplishment or a loving memory.
In that moment, her thoughts change: There’s the book she wants to finish, the manuscript she wants to paint, the yummy dessert she loves to make, and the movie she watches every Christmas —It’s a Wonderful Life, indeed. She always did love, love, love movies that change your fate. Her pain now shapes a very different reality.
Change your thoughts, you change your emotional experience.
The chair was left empty, and for the rest of that silent night, she did the things she loved, remembering the people who loved her. Instead of being enveloped in sorrow, she was surrounded by hundreds of loving stars.
Same circumstances, but very different outcomes. In the first scenario, our heroine was overtaken by thoughts that made her feel powerless, unworthy and alone. In the second scenario, our heroine changed her thoughts and anchored feelings of love, happiness, and accomplishment using the white lights of the Christmas tree.
When she saw the tree, the thoughts of loss and sorrow didn’t stand a chance.
If sorrow and loss try to blind you from the whole truth, use the lights that you see to remind yourself that you are so much more than your experiences. There is so much more for you to do, to be and to have.
Until next time, remember, you are surrounded by thousands of stars!
With love and light,
Certified Life Coach and Founder of Challenge Your Vision, LLC