I had that sinking feeling you get when you know that you’re not getting the results you want, but you can’t quite put your finger on the cause.
Do you know what I mean?
You get uncomfortable, so maybe you just ignore the feeling and go watch a tv show, or go to the movies, or try to read a book, but eventually, the feeling comes back again like the smell of dirty socks in the corner of your room.
Distraction is the level 1 way to deal with the issue.
Distraction only works for so long, and then, you go to the next level. That’s when you try to find out who is responsible. So you ask questions of other people like, “Hey did you know this would happen?” or “Did you do what I had asked you to do?” Or my favorite, “You said this would likely work.”
The level 2 way to deal with the issue is to find out who is responsible.
I don’t know what you do when you experience that “sinking feeling,” but in my experience, this seems to be the pattern: First, we distract ourselves, then we find someone to blame.
The level 3 way to deal with the issue is to look at ourselves first. Eventually, after you’ve exhausted all other avenues and you are still committed to finding out the truth, you take a look at yourself and your actions. When you do that, the mirror can tell a different story than the one you’ve been constructing in your head.
When we go to look for answers, rarely do we look inside ourselves, first. So, I want to propose a radical idea: When you or I experience that sinking feeling and we want to figure it out, let’s ask ourselves some clarifying questions before we escape into another episode of Homeland or look for what someone else did or didn’t do. We”ll not only save time, we might just solve the right problem with the right solution the first time.
First you have got to know the whole truth, before you can implement a solution, otherwise, you may be applying the right solution to the wrong problem – Christine Jeffrey
What eliminates that “sinking feeling” quickly is to have a weekly check-in with myself, so that, I can have the kind of clarity that will lead me to the right action the first time.
When you and I have this weekly practice, we have less of a chance of confusing correlation with causation, and a better chance of being successful. The audit I have created below will help you to weaponize your clarity to take the next, best, right action for you!
(Just a quick reminder that causation is the clear “cause” of something and correlation is the relationship or “link” between two things. Many times we can confuse the two, and when we do, we may apply the right solution to the wrong problem!)
Every Sunday night ask yourself the following questions to help you see causation, correlation, and to decide what the next best right action is for you:
- Am I proud of the actions I took this week when I …
- Communicated with colleagues
- Communicated with family
- Communicated with friends
- I was satisfied with my results when I…
- Worked on my nutrition, exercise, and focus practice
- Worked on my projects
- Had fun with family, friends and colleagues
- I liked who I was being when I…
- Was with others
- Was with myself
- Was creating or working on a project
- Looked in the mirror
- I am extremely grateful …
- That I am…
- That my friends are…
- That I have…
- That I get to…
- Add in your own 🙂
If the answer to questions (1-3) is yes, then keep doing what you are doing. If the answer to any of those questions is no, then ask yourself, “what got in your way and how do you improve?,” so that, the next time your answers are yes!
You’ll find that if you check-in with yourself every week with these kinds of questions, you will redirect your focus, you will become more effective, and the quality of your life and relationships will improve. Oh, and that sinking feeling won’t trigger the level 1 and/or level 2 way of handling the problem – most of the time. You’ll already have a pretty good idea of what’s going on and what you need to do about it. Try this for yourself and let me know how it goes. I want you to look in the mirror and like what you see!
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If you are thinking you may want to take your personal development to the next level, you can click to Learn more about High Performance Coaching. The next round of coaching opens in November and I will have only one spot available. So if this style of coaching speaks to you, please check it out. The questionnaire, itself, is a great self discovery tool and may help you think more clearly about who you are and how you are showing up in the world. I want the very best for you and coaching could be the answer you are looking for.
You got this. Leave a comment, ask a question, I’m here to help.
Thank you so much for reading and until next time,
Make the most of the time you have!
Coach “The Real Truth Can Set You Free”