This will be my last blog post for the year, and when 2019 gets here, I’ll have some cool stuff to share and some opportunities to help you to create a life of extraordinary meaning, contribution and success. Wishing you all a happy and safe holiday and a fun, rockin New Year!
You know that axiom, “One step at a time” or that idiom, “Don’t put the cart before the horse?” We tend to forget these words of wisdom when our lives get busy. It isn’t just doing the right steps that bring us the rewards in our lives, it is doing the right steps in the right sequence for the right reasons that matters most when it comes to results.
You know those Christmas Letters we get, in which, our friends and relatives recount all of their successess: the amazing trips they took, the trophies they’ve won, the fun that they had…? By the time we have reached Page 4 (okay maybe it IS page 2, but it feels like Page 4) we start to get a little annoyed.
If we’re completely honest with ourselves, we feel some excitement for them and a little joy for their good fortune, but also, we feel a little less. Do you know what I mean by a little less? When we go down that path of comparison, it can mess with our heads.
Suddenly, what we’ve accomplished, the good fortune we’ve had, the fun, et al, may not be enough and we find ourselves asking questions and making not-so-nice comments. Our focus has shifted from abundance to scarcity, from richness to lack, and from what we have to what we don’t. It’s simultaneously, uncomfortable and disconcerting.
If we really do want what they have, we have to ask ourselves, what’s below the iceberg? What were the struggles, the doubts, the sacrifices, and the obstacles they faced and had to overcome to get those kinds of rewards? What were their recipes for success?
Inevitably, when you ask the questions, you find out that the equation for another’s success is not:
Knowledge + Action = Desired Results
Rather, it is:
Knowledge + Action – Obstacles – Doubt – Fear + Feedback – More Obstacles – More Doubt – More Fear + The Right Actions = Desired Results
We forget the steps in between that take us to the success we envision for ourselves. We think they had it easy. But in reality, there is so much that we don’t know.
Another tack is to look back at your own successes from the year: the struggles you’ve overcome, the breakthroughs you’ve had, the rewards you’ve achieved and reconnect with that abundance, that richness and the gratitude that inevitably follows, because you recognize that you aren’t successful without help.
Why all this talk about comparison?
Comparison kills your joy –Christine Jeffrey
Let me say it again, “Comparison kills your joy.” It steals your satisfaction, and more importantly, steals your focus on what matters most to you!
In the spirit of this beautiful holiday, remind yourself of how far you’ve come, what you’ve achieved and how blessed you are to have the experiences that you’ve had this year.
Below are 5 ways to help you get back to that place where you have peace in your heart and experience grace each day.
5 Ways to Feel the Love
- Plan For Your Days Off – It’s a busy season with shopping, obligations and deadlines. On the days you don’t have them, plan to go to your favorite place of quiet and remember all you’ve accomplished and all you’ve overcome. Make the time for this! When you do that, you refocus, reenergize, and feel primed for the next activity.
- Don’t Follow the Crowd – We all can get sucked into the herd mentality during this time of year, so before you follow, remind yourself to take a step back and ask, “Is this right for me?” That one check-in can save you time, money, and peace of mind.
- Don’t Stack Responsibilities – One of the things we forget is that if we keep the stress loop open, even when we are finished with a task, the stress stacks on top of each other. How do you close the loop? Acknowledge and send some energy to the recognition that you completed the task. You’ll notice a shift in your energy when you do!
- Give Priority – Take a moment to ask yourself, “what is most important in the grand scheme of things?” If what you are doing isn’t at the top of the list, readjust your schedule. The loudest squeak doesn’t need to get your grease!! Give it to those who matter most.
- Be Present – When you are with someone, give your full attention to them. Falling into the trap of “multitasking” doesn’t make you or that person feel recognized; what you both feel is disconnected. When you give someone your full attention, you both feel it and the relationship is better for it.
Use these 5 ways to help you have a better holiday experience. I think if we all get out of comparision and into the spirit of the season, the end of 2018 will not only be amazing, it will be a great way to begin 2019! Try it and see for yourselves!
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Remember, there is so much more to you than the sum of your experiences and your circumstances!