I am going to “spill the tea” or the wine, as the case may be, with y’all today. Are you familiar with the phrase spilling the tea?! I learned about it from my daughter who happens to be a middle school English teacher. Her students were talking about spilling the tea and she had to get in on the “D.” Do you know what the “D” is? D is for drama. Being a middle school teacher and a paid voice actor for video games “requires” her to know the latest and greatest in seasonal slang. She had to get the low down on what all this spilling of tea was about.
But before I spill the tea, which is similar to “spilling the beans,” (but not really) I wanted to write about indulgences. Do you know what I mean by indulgences?
I mean the “buy those red suede pumps now – because they are so cute,” “drink that glass of malbec,- it’s so smooth,” “eat that chocolate brownie with toasted marshmallows rolled ice cream- because it is just that yummy,” and “go to the Sharks hockey game – because it is so fun” all in one day kind of indulgences that can make me and you enjoy the heck out of the day only to feel the hangover of regret tomorrow. Yes, we all talk ourselves into and out of things daily. 🙂
But you know, it feels really good in the moment, right? The rush of pleasure, power and pampering is intoxicating. For example, Ladies, when you find the perfect pair of shoes, what does that feel like??
And Gentlemen, when your favorite hockey player slams that bully from the rival team into the boards of the arena, because he deserved it, what does that feel like? Yeah, it feels really good doesn’t it?
Well, let me tell you, as I continue to spill the tea, or dish the dirt, or in other words, gossip about my indulgences some more, that we can have the upside of indulgences without the inevitable regret if we are smart about how to do it.
How? By simply scheduling them in advance AND keeping the lookout for what my favorite yogi, Adrienne, says every single day, which is, “do what feels good.” In other words, if your body is telling you to say “no” to the next glass of wine, or “no more food, I’m full” or “go to bed now” – you listen to him or her. He or she is super smart and has your best interests at heart.
When you schedule indulgences in advance, you save more money than you normally would, you have less of a hangover, and while you may eat more than normal, you would have modified your food intake before or after so that the net result is positive. In other words, no regret and a major feeling of abundance and gratitude.
Listen the caveat is, do what feels good within moderation. Everything is a balance right? But instead of reacting your way into indulgences, by being smart about your choices and scheduling them in advance, you get to enjoy the heck out of the experiences when you give yourself the okay to go for it!
Intentional indulgence is a secret tool I use to have it all my own way!Christine Jeffrey
Here is a three step method to use your indulgences as a driver to also contribute more and to create more.
Use the Three C’s to Stay On Track
Consumption – schedule it in advance with the right amount of frequency that satisfies you! Let’s face the truth, consumption rocks. Whether it is a glass of wine, yummy dark chocolate, or fantastic, kick-ass high heels or whatever moves you, it’s awesome. However, consumption when it distracts you, or takes you from something meaningful and important to you, is not so awesome. You end up feeling a tad, well, yucky. That feeling is the clue that tells you to reevaluate, create a plan that includes just enough to make you feel good, so that next time, you set things up to win.
Contribution – schedule it in advance with the right amount of frequency that satisfies you! Notice a theme is emerging?! 🙂 Yep. This one makes you feel great. You feel like you matter, because you add something valuable to your home, to your family life, to your friends, to work and to the world. There is only one you , so do you to the best of your ability.
Creation – schedule it in advance with the right amount of frequency that satisfies you! Creation is the vehicle through which you shine. Only you – reminds me of that song, but it is still true. There is only something you can bring to the party, and no one else. If you think you can’t create, you are smoking something…and probably it is an illegal substance of some kind! All joking, aside – creation is, in my opinion, one of the main reasons we are alive. When we are alive, we create. You do it everyday, you just may not be aware of what you are creating, so make your creation, intentional.
In case you are still wondering, the slang term, spilling the tea is a reference to the time when Southern women would get together over afternoon tea to gossip. Remember in that movie when Olympia Dukakis’ character says, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me!” Well, I would change that to, “If you have anything nice to say come on over and spill the tea at my house!”
When you use this method of intentional indulgences to enrich yourself and the lives of those around you, your consumption choices (i.e., your indulgences) are actually fuel to feed your contribution to the world and fuel to spark your imagination to create. How do you want to contribute and what do you want to create? When you have the answer, get to it!
Leave a comment. Ask a question. I am here to help you to live an extraordinary life of meaning, contribution, fulfillment and success.
Your tea spilling friend,
Coach “Come Sit By Me”