In this week’s post, I write about delay and how it can destroy our drive to act. I also will give you some easy steps to follow to trigger your drive. This, in turn, will help you to get out of delay, so that, you can enjoy doing more and having more success in your life.
*Name is changed to protect her secret identity.
Julia* wakes up every morning with the same intentions. She is going to workout, have that conversation with her boss, and tell her significant other about how she has been feeling about his actions of late.
Each day, she has those intentions, but somehow during each day, she loses the drive to act or to say anything at all. She tells herself that she just isn’t ready yet, or that it is the wrong time to talk with her boss, or her boyfriend works so hard and why should she rock the boat by complaining about this little thing, and on the explanations go.
The game of delay lulls us into the belief that we will have the energy, the motivation, and the drive to take action, only when the time arrives, we come up with another reason why it isn’t time to act yet.Christine Jeffrey
Julia says things like, “When my boss has a spare moment, I’ll talk to him…” or “When I get a good night’s sleep, I’ll have the energy to exercise”… or “I’m going to talk to him this weekend, when we are both home about…”
And what happens to all of her good intentions? When the time comes, Julia doesn’t act or follow through on what she intended to do or to say. When it is time for her to act, her drive evaporates, and with it, her self-trust.
When you and I keep breaking promises to ourselves, how can we trust that we will follow through?
This game is very similar to the Game of When I wrote about in July. The Game of When happens when the conditions for action keep changing. For example:
“When I have learned the required skills” changes into “when I have mastered all of the information,” and that changes into, “when I have an alphabet soup after my name, I’ll be ready to go for it…”
Sometimes, we tell ourselves clever lies disguised as truth.
What’s the fastest way for you and me to get what we want? Feedback.
And how do you get feedback? You take action. Period. End of story.
What would give Julia the results she wants? Following through on her intentions. So how does she follow through when she has conditioned herself to play the game of delay in these situations?
Mel Robbins calls it her “Five Second Rule.” The idea is that you take action before you have time to hit the handbrake and talk yourself out of it. For me, I call it, your need for self trust trumps any pleasure or peace of mind your receive that comes from delay.
So if you want to get out of delay and into drive, here are four ways to spark your initiative:
- SELF TRUST – It all starts with your belief in your ability to be successful. That means you keep your promises to yourself, first. You do what you intend when you intend it. That’s when you have the biggest drive and inspired energy. Your Creator gave you an amazing ability to learn, to practice, and to master a variety of skills. You are hardwired to do so. But more importantly, you were given the ability to ACT on what you know. Trust in yourself.
2. ASK YOURSELF A BETTER QUESTION – “What am I delaying or putting off that I know I need to address? ” Then answer the question, honestly. Don’t dodge and don’t justify as that kind of dance does not serve you. This gives you clarity to focus on what is most important to you.
3. ACT ON THE ANSWER – This means you schedule that meeting, you make that phone call, or you work on that project, because your self worth is more important that any challenge or fear that you face.
4. CONSUMPTION VS. CREATION & CONTRIBUTION – This is probably one of the most overlooked causes of delay. We are so busy learning the next greatest and latest tips that we lose sight of what to do with all of that great information. “Am I consuming information or am I creating and contributing in a way that matters most to me?” is a simple check-in we can use to help us to have the clarity of whether we are taking enough meaningful action in our lives to get the results that we want.
Use this framework to get yourself into taking action, and then, modify your actions based on the feedback you get. This is the fastest way to get from where you are now to where you want to be. I want you to spark your own initiative, and when you do, you start creating and contributing instead of consuming. You start coming alive in away that makes you proud and excited about yourself and your life. I want that experience for you and everyone on the planet! Life is too short to live with regret.
If you find that you want a little help with your habit of delay by cueing more confidence and courage, check out my free trainings on these two important topics. You get video trainings, worksheets and quote cards to help you practice these two necessary skills. You can’t have an extraordinary life of meaning, contribution, and success without them. They are yours for free as a thank you for joining my community.
Click these two links to learn more: https://mailchi.mp/065e5e8d1899/courage-construction-invitation https://challengeyourvision.com/free-confidence-class/
I believe in you and your ability to figure out the next right steps for you! Leave a comment, ask a question, I am here to help.
Thank you so much for reading and until next time,
Coach “Don’t Delay”