I was called to jury duty this week for a high profile murder case. The extremely wealthy accused and her new boyfriend allegedly murdered and then hired the boyfriend’s personal trainer/bodyguard to dispose of the body of the father of her two children.
You’d think this was fiction, but no, it really happened. The accused made bail after posting 35 million dollars and her boyfriend didn’t, so he sits in jail, while she is at home in her mansion in Hillsborough.
What would you and I have to believe to think that murdering someone to handle the stress of a custody dispute was the best option for everyone concerned?
I won’t find out anymore of the details until the trial starts in September, because I was released from jury duty due to more than a few personal hardships.
Which brings me to the topic of this post. For the last month, I’ve been researching resilience, perseverance, endurance, and grit to identify the best practices to develop the art and the skill of bouncing back when circumstances, beyond your control, knock you down.
The feelings of overwhelm associated with an unknown future, the struggle of day to day living, parenting children, relationships with loved ones, loss of a parent, management and disposal of an estate, remodeling, money concerns, planning another major move, operating a business and developing a project launch, all happening simultaneously, can be a lot to handle. You may have more stacking going on than I do, but it still can be overwhelming, you know?
Don’t pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one –Bruce Lee
When all of these events descend on you, it can take time for you to realize what’s happening and what to do about it. When I noticed that my response to the stress was to gain 7 pounds and binge watch Korean dramas late into the evening, I needed to find a better way.
The best tips that I’ve discovered to handle adversity come from scientific research, and when practiced consistently, you not only can become more resilient, you are more likely to unpack the stack of stressful circumstances and experience some peace and joy in the midst of the most difficult of times.
How to Unpack the Stack
- Get to the truth of the issues. This means not only the facts of what is going on, but also, your contribution to those facts. Once you are clear, you can break it down to what you can control and what you can’t control.
- Identify why it matters for your to stick it out. Get clear on what is important to you and why. You have to know what it means, so when it gets tough, you can reinforce your commitment to endure.
- Break it down. Now that you know your contribution, you know why it matters, now you can unstack those feelings by scheduling the different areas in your calendar. Once you set them, you forget them. Only focus on one challenge at time.
- Finally, improvise. Search for options, ask for help, try different methods to get the results that you want. Remember, when you are making progress toward a solution, you feel less stress.
Give these steps a try, and when you do, you may find you experience less stress and become stronger, more resilient, and able to endure whatever life throws at you with better results.
If you feel that you may need help with developing a better mindset and/or developing better habits to handle the stress in your life, please click here to Learn more about High Performance Coaching. The next round of coaching is open.
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Thank you so much for reading and until next time,
Make the most out of the time you have!
Coach “You’re Bouncing Back”