**Edited and revised 2/8/2021.
I was called to jury duty this week for a high profile murder case. The extremely wealthy accused and her new boyfriend allegedly murdered her ex-husband and then hired the boyfriend’s personal trainer/bodyguard to dispose of the body. Her two children were at grandma’s house at the time.
You’d think this was fiction, but no, it really happened. The accused made bail after paying 35 million dollars. Her boyfriend, unable to raise that kind of money, sits in jail, while she is at home in her mansion in Hillsborough.
What would you and I have to believe to think that murdering your spouse to deal with the stress of a custody dispute is okay? Were there good reasons? How could she think it was the best option for everyone concerned?!
Since I was released from jury duty for quite a few hardships of my own, I won’t find out anymore of the details until the trial concludes sometime in November. **
Which brings me to the topic of this post. For the last month, I’ve been researching resilience, perseverance, endurance, and grit to identify the best practices to develop the art of bouncing back when circumstances knock you down.
The feelings of overwhelm associated with an unknown future, the struggle of day to day living, parenting children, relationships with loved ones, loss of a parent, management and disposal of an estate, remodeling the house, money concerns, planning another major move, operating a business and developing a project launch — all happening simultaneously — can be a lot to handle. You may have a lot more going on than I do, but it still can be overwhelming, right?
Don’t pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult oneBruce Lee
When all of these events descend on you, it can take time for you to realize what’s happening and what to do about it. When I noticed that my response to the stress was to gain 7 pounds and binge watch Korean dramas late into the evening, I needed to find a better way.
The best tips that I’ve discovered to handle adversity come from scientific research, and when practiced consistently, you not only can become more resilient, you are more likely to unpack the stack of stressful circumstances and experience some peace and joy in the midst of the most difficult of times.
How to Unpack the Stack
- Get to the truth of the issues. This means not only the facts of what is going on, but also, your contribution to those facts. Once you are clear, seperate them into what you can control and what you can’t control.
- Identify why it matters for your to stick it out. Get clear on what is important to you and why. You have to know what it means, so when it gets tough, you can reinforce your commitment to endure.
- Break it down. Now that you know your contribution and you know why it matters, un-stack those feelings by scheduling these different areas of your life in your calendar. Once you set them, you forget them. Only focus on one challenge/area at time.
- Finally, improvise. Search for options, ask for help, try different methods to get the results that you want. Remember, when you are making progress toward a solution, you feel less stress.
Give these steps a try, and when you do, you may find you experience less stress and become stronger, more resilient, and able to endure whatever life throws at you with better results. How’s that for a stack of positive outcomes? 🙂
If you feel that you may need help with developing a better mindset and/or developing better habits to handle the stress in your life, please click here to Learn more about High Performance Coaching. The next round of coaching is open. So if learning how to master yourself speaks to you, explore working with me!
Thank you so much for reading and until next time,
Make the most out of the time you have!
With love and respect,
(FYI – she was acquitted, but the boyfriend was convicted. Life is stranger than fiction.)